You Don’t Have to Agree – Just Be Willing to Listen.
How to Talk About Diversity with the Unconvinced

How can you talk to skeptics about the power and value of diversity without producing the opposite effect, but instead planting a seed of change? Here are some tips for doing so with empathy, curiosity, respect for differing views, and without moralizing.

As Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), said:

Instead of immediately responding with an argument or counterpoint, pause and consider what needs might be behind what the other person is saying. Perhaps skepticism toward DEI stems from a need for security – fear that change threatens the status quo. Or it could be a need to feel valued – a worry that “new” initiatives will overlook those in the majority.

Ask questions to uncover these needs:

“What concerns you most about this topic?”

“What experiences shaped your perspective?”

This approach builds bridges and creates space for a conversation based on mutual respect and understanding.

DEI language is often full of specialized terms that can intimidate or discourage people. Instead of talking about “microaggressions” or “intersectionality,” try explaining the topic as you would to a friend. Simple language opens doors to dialogue and is often more persuasive than jargon or statistics. As Brené Brown reminds us: “Clarity is kindness.”

Inclusive communication is more than simple language. It’s also awareness that words can exclude or invite. It involves:

It’s also important not to assume what’s best for someone. Not every woman prefers feminine forms of words; for some it matters, for others it doesn’t. Therefore, it’s better to ask:

“How would you like me to refer to your role?”

“Which language do you prefer I use?”

Inclusive communication is primarily about listening and flexibility – not imposing or “correcting” language, but ensuring no one is excluded, fostering respect, and responding to needs..

Not everyone will be convinced by the same arguments. Some value numbers and business efficiency – for them, cite data showing that diverse teams perform better, are more innovative, and more creative. Others care about community and fairness – for them, emphasize that inclusivity is simply honesty and equal opportunity.

Ask yourself:

A common mistake in DEI conversations is “lecturing” from a teacher’s perspective. With skeptical audiences, this often backfires, as no one likes being lectured. Storytelling and listening to stories is much more effective. Share your journey: how you experienced the need for diversity, how your thinking changed.
But don’t stop at your story. Listening to others’ experiences is one of the best ways to learn – it shows a world from a perspective you don’t know. Stories have power: they teach empathy and demonstrate that behind statistics and concepts are real people.

Authenticity matters – showing that everyone is learning engages curiosity and participation.

One of the best things you can do in a DEI conversation is nurture curiosity. Instead of thinking, “I must convince you,” ask:

“What made you form this opinion?”

“What are your experiences with this topic?”

Curiosity doesn’t judge; it asks. It opens doors to honest dialogue.

Ways to develop curiosity:

Organizations aiming to build a culture of diversity and inclusive leadership can:

Exposing yourself (and others) to different experiences and perspectives is the best way to break stereotypes and broaden your worldview. True curiosity means being willing to encounter the unfamiliar and different.

As Harper Lee, author of To Kill a Mockingbird, said:

It is valuable to create spaces that allow people to experience other perspectives, for example:

Learning through experience is safe and effective: it allows seeing the world through someone else’s eyes without judgment or fear. Contact with the “other” nurtures curiosity and breaks stereotypes, turning abstract concepts into real people – with their smile, fatigue, talent, and story.

Psychological safety is when employees feel safe to speak their minds without fear of ridicule, punishment, or exclusion. In DEI conversations, this is crucial. How can we discuss identity-related issues – often difficult, controversial, or emotional – if people don’t feel safe to open up?

In the DEI context, psychological safety means the right to:

Amy Edmondson, who introduced the concept of psychological safety, said:

DEI conversations need spaces where every voice matters – even if it differs. Intellectual humility in leaders is key: readiness to admit: :

“I don’t have all the answers. I want to hear your perspective.”

This approach underpins inclusive leadership, which not only encourages diversity but actively draws from it. Leaders who model openness and curiosity create a culture where DEI conversations become bridges to genuine understanding, making diversity a true value.

DEI discussions often touch on privilege. This word can evoke emotions – no one likes being told, “you have it easier.” But privilege is not blame or guilt; it is a fact worth recognizing.

Privilege is what you take for granted as normal. Examples include:

Talking about privilege shows that DEI is not ideology but everyday reality. What is “normal” and easy for one person may not be for another. Discussing privilege is not about blame, but understanding – laying the foundation for respect and allyship. Concrete, everyday examples help those outside the DEI bubble see how privilege affects access to education, healthcare, and employment. Recognizing privilege is not shameful; it can be a powerful tool for allyship.

DEI conversations aren’t about who is right or who has it better. They are about seeing what we can do so no one feels “less important.”

You don’t need to be a DEI expert or a leader to create space for diversity. Everyday actions matter:

DEI conversations and supporting diversity are not just about grand strategies or policies. Often, they are about small, everyday gestures and inclusive habits that build a culture of belonging.

Co ważne – to właśnie te małe rzeczy potrafią przemówić do sceptyków. Bo o ile polityki i strategie mogą wydawać się im obce i dalekie, o tyle drobne, życzliwe gesty i proste słowa w codziennym życiu są czymś, co trafia do każdego z nas.

These small actions often resonate with skeptics. Policies and strategies may seem distant, but simple, kind gestures in everyday life reach everyone. Allyship is not occasional support; it’s a choice:

“I want everyone around me to feel that their perspective matters.”

Through these small acts, daily listening, and sensitivity, DEI stops being theory and becomes part of how we work and live together. These small, everyday actions are the real fuel for building a culture of belonging.

DEI conversations can be challenging but don’t have to be. Lead them with empathy, curiosity, and respect.

It’s not about being right – it’s about building relationships.

Change begins not with a slogan but with the question: “What moves you about this topic?” and the willingness to truly listen to the answer.

At Diversity Hub, we listen and hear diverse voices.